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i have too many fantasies
procrastination aside,
i have too much brain to think
about what i want so i
am never really sure
which is the cure, the remedy,
which is the poison,
and which one i prefer,
in the end.

i look at you and i think that
you are pretty
so in my head your hair is still grey
and your mouth a thin line
but your eyes, they only focus on me
and oh, your body
i am honest, i just close my eyes
and i tell you that this is what i see

a fantasy
or many other vivid dreams
confuse my head
my body knows what it wants
but my mind longs for what?
poison, remedy,
neither, both,
fantasies involving you on top,
underneath,
or involved in a platonic experiment
where all we do is talk?
but that’s already real life to me

you know what they say about scorpio’s
repressed sexuality
escalates into vivid fantasy
imagine that

so, procrastination aside
i have too much brain
to decide whether or not
i want the fantasy to come to life

When you're getting what you ask for but can't ask for what you need,
When you trade prevention's ounce away to gain a fleshy pound,
When what started out as prudence has begun to feel like greed,
And the triumph that you prayed
For isn't worth the price you paid,
And you're feeling loosely held but tightly bound…
Now's the time to take a closer look at what you've found,
'Cuz now is when the chorus comes around.

So the rival for your power is imprisoned in a tower and you're ruler of the dower of your beaten bride,
But the heir that you've invested all your hopes in has been bested and your faith is being tested 'cause he's gone and died,
And poor John can't win a vict'ry 'cuz he's foolish, vain, and sickly, Geoff is sneaky, Rick's a prickly would-be regicide
Who is tight with royal Frenchmen and his mother's loyal henchman and his brothers on the bench manipulate his pride!

"It gets almighty cold" 2009. 55x40cm. Oil on canvas
Anna Silivonchik silivonchik.ru/

Fear is denying the truth
depression is helping me forget
while my potential is faintly pulsing inside my chest

lies counter last night's courage
Iron eyes hide the pain
Redemption is discouraged by
the memories that remain

Still lost in a bubble
with no end in sight
comfortable in darkness
afraid of the light

p.s. feedback is love

it is like two people talking with full mouths
and purposely empty eyes
it is like the dog that barks
but never bites
it is like the bird that sings
in an unfamiliar language
it is like hands that touch you
but eyes that never see through
it is like ears that sharpen
but do not seem to listen

you desire recognition
but people barely seem to give you
more than the superficial part
of their time of day
but you yourself cannot see
how you are caught in your own deception
of what they seem to say

jusanodagirl

Have you ever felt,

Like there's something greater,

That you had once upon a time?


There's something missing.


Sometimes I feel,

Like I don't belong,

In this lifetime,


Sometimes I feel,

Like I loved before,

With such greatness,

It hurt.


Sometimes I feel,

I've left someone behind,

But who?

Who are you?

Are you the one ive waited for my whole life?


Sometimes I try to close that feeling,

Lock it away,

But I cant.


I feel you looking for me,

But where do I begin to look for you?


Have you ever fell inlove with someone that wasn't there?

Were are you..................

Why can't life be easier?
I've tried as hard as i could to stop the hurt, the hurt that i cause people unknowingly.
But i don't seem to be able to get it right.

If i could find away to fix myself,
i would do it not just for you, but others as well.
I'm so tired of fixing things that i've caused.

Why am i always the one to fix things?
Why is everything always my fault?
Am i honestly that hard of a person to be around?

If i knew the answers to these questions, i would be a better person.
But no one has answered them,
And i find that i question myself even more.

Why are people friends with me?
I don't understand what people find so appealing about me.
Maybe someone will come forward and tell me.

I'm dying to know.
Why is life so hard?
One question that will never be answered.

I fell asleep on a bus stop bench and I immediately started dreaming…

I found myself standing on the median strip of a busy boulevard.

Naked; I tried to shield my shame.

People screamed, “Put some clothes on asshole!” at me.
Women scoffed, children laughed and pointed.
Cars motorcycles and buses rushed by, moving in two directions.

I tried to shield my shame but they ridiculed this even more.

Their laughter was psychotic and my humiliation complete.
I hid the book behind me lest someone see it.

Some drawings fell out.
A lizard man yelled, “Hey look! He fancies himself an artist!”

The crowd laughed psychotically.

The Hyena woman snatched the book from me and held it up
For the gathering-snarling-drooling crowd to view and make fun of.

I felt so angry that I couldn’t breathe.

I tried to scream FUCK YOU!
But nothing came out.

I felt like I was glowing florescent in a black and white world.

In the next moment, I awoke to the bus arriving and I staggered aboard as though nothing had happened.

I put my straight face back on and rode the bus to my stop.

It was just another day in the life of an ordinary man.



ambient_1 © 2009

Can the King of Hell fall in Love? Rated T-M
Romance/Fantasy/Angst
In Progress

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2599097/1/Lucifer_Oh_Lucifer

**FINAL EDIT Thu Dec 10 02:15:47 UTC 2009**

So there is the final update... Over the past day we have processed around 11 million jobs out of the 12 million that were in queue at that time. Please bear in mind that over this past day, more jobs for notifications are also created. So while the queue has been dropping, we are still not fully caught up at this point, due to backlog and new jobs. We have roughly 3 million jobs still pending that involve the notification system in some manner. We had hoped we could have fully cleared the queue in a day, but unfortunately we can't clear it too quickly, since we need the rest of the site to operate normally. From our current perspective on the amount of jobs that are left in queue, and how many it has processed thus far, we believe it will take around another 8 - 12 hours to process everything.

And finally some answers to some questions:

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Anne Whitehouse is reading her poetry on every radio station NPR related with her latest release, Blessings and Curses. The spirit of her voice is embedded in the words of this collection of 40 blessings and 24 curses. Read our review of Blessings and Curses here and find out more about Anne and her life as a poet.